Mother’s Day 2021 🌹

Mother’s Day 2021 🌹

A Reflection on Irish Mothers, particularly my own.

Happy Mother’s Day to all Mothers blessed with children, to those who have lost their own Mothers or a child, and to those who have decided not to become Mothers. Happy Mother’s Day to all those fathers who have stepped into the role of Mother & Father. I salute you all.

It’s interesting how it takes us to get to a particular age to understand the trials and tribulations that our Mother’s and Grandmother’s experienced before us. This was the topic of conversation between a lifelong friend and I recently, and where we both lamented that we now sound like our own Mother’s, recalling memories where we rolled our eyes when getting told off or when we listened to the many renditions of “you’ll know all about it when you’ve got kids of your own”.

I am the Mother of two beautiful kiddos and it’s at this stage of the game that I finally understand what my mother went through to ensure that us 4 had all of what we needed but also that we thrived on the love and nurturing that she so effortlessly gave us.

As an Irish Mother, my Mother, my Nanny (Grandmother to those across the water) and my Aunt Ann, were not strangers to pain and loss, an experience shared with the majority of Mother’s in the North (of Ireland). The ‘troubles’ as those years are referred to, were decades filled with worry that your child, particularly your son, would go out for the evening and never return – this may sound dramatic but it’s not, many of our males and indeed females; child, teenage, adult and older didn’t return whether it was because they were murdered with impunity, for being in the wrong place at the wrong time, been involved in a gun battle to protect their community or imprisoned; interned without charge, stitched up or for being on active duty.

My Nanny. Always campaigned for the release of her son & husband.

I don’t proclaim to know it all nor do I proclaim to understand the pain of all Mothers here but I now get the fear of when your child goes out, that they may not return.

Irish Mothers have been the backbone of our communities and families and have been at the forefront of protests and screams for human and civil rights here for Irish Catholics and working class Protestants. They have endured their pain with grace and courage; to carry on whilst their hearts have been torn from them due to the loss of their child in the fight for equality. I think today of the Mothers of those who died from Hunger Strike in prisons where they were treated and looked upon no better than vermin, I think today of those Mothers who lost their child to a bomb or gunshot and I think of those Mothers who lost the formative years, the loss of potential grandchildren and in-laws to the many prisons, here, in the South and in England, many of whom died still protesting their innocence.

August 1969

I think particularly of my Nanny, Sarah today, of whom I learned so much and who’s loss I grieve for today, almost 13yrs on. Her fight for justice for her son and husband and extended family as part of the #Guilford4 and #Maguire7 inspired me to be someone who also fought for justice albeit in a different career; social work.

My Nanny. Forever proud 💜

Both her son Gerry and husband Guiseppe Conlon were imprisoned for crimes that they did not commit, which was widely known within the political, legal and security realms at that time and now as more evidence appears highlighting this very fact. Her strength to carry on working, Mothering, Grandmothering and Friending in the face of such heartbreak and anger, indignation and frustration always left me in awe.

I often look at the photo of my Grandfather’s burial and focus on her demeanour, awed by her strength. Her husband had been refused release which contributed to his untimely death and instead of bitter, I see pain etched across her face, yet she holds herself upright and with dignity. Same can be said for the photos of her and Gerry in 1989 when he was “Proved Innocent”, and released; her eyes show that same pain but there’s a smile – a smile of joy that her only son had returned.

Similarly I think of my aunt Ann, who is also not with us. She fought the British Legal System with the strength of giants right up until her passing. Injustice had informed her formative years and her plight became that of righting the wrongs visited upon her family, turning all their worlds upside down in the most painful of ways.

She too was a woman of great strength, of humour, of ‘right, let’s sort this’ and of someone who I looked up to from a very early age. Ann was known for her kindness and as someone who was always there when things were going wrong. Her passing came too soon, she was too young and had much to live for, particularly for her beloved children and grandchildren.

October 1989
My Mum, Gerry and Ann, October 1989

It’s sardonic that I’ve experienced much of what my Mother did in life, albeit without the injustice she experienced as a teenager from the loss of her father and brother to the corrupt British (In)justice system. But my marriage breakdown has many similarities to say the very least. I remember how frustrating I found her heartbreak to be as a headstrong 17yr old. I very much regret that now, though I do appreciate the context in that I was a young person in a family where domestic violence had prevailed. In my young mind I only wanted space where there were smiles and happy times.

Whilst the irony of my own marriage breakdown occurring when my eldest was 17 isn’t lost on me, it has given me insight into the crippling pain that my Mother felt, the shattering of dreams, of hopes and potential, the loss of a future imagined during happier times.

Similarly, I now ‘get’ the strength that she had, putting on that face to us children every day; that we will get through, that she’s gonna be ok and that smile that hid the devastating pain she was feeling inside, even though we could hear her heartbreak in the dark of the night, behind her closed bedroom door.

I am thankful for my experiences as a young person within a “broken family”, because it has given me an invaluable insight into how my beautiful babies are feeling and as a Mother I have gathered that strength from my depths to prioritise their need for me to at least appear wholesome, in charge and capable of providing for, and to always protect them.

This has been a journey, a pretty tough one to be fair. The damage from a marriage that should’ve ended at least 4 years prior resulted in a diagnosis of fibromyalgia; which incapacitated me for quite a long time.

What has helped is the openness that my children and I share. The ability to communicate has been hugely beneficial and I’m beyond grateful to myself (take a bow) for being that type of Mum, the one who cares not that it’s an ‘embarrassing’ topic, I approached them all with the same vigour – an educated child will make informed decisions and thus less likely to get in trouble.

So roll forward to post breakdown and a lot of conversations ensued with my kiddos beginning with “give me 5 words” for how they were feeling. Oh, they resisted aplenty but persuasion and lighthearted humour prevailed and many many hours have been spent talking through emotions and feelings and despairs and hopes.

I’m proud to say that they are healing and as they do, so must I.

I often lie at night and think about the universe and it’s teachings. Sometimes I feel angry that my lesson had to be so painful so that I could understand the pain and hardships experienced before me but I also think about the resilience that my Mother possessed – and am blessed in knowing that I too possess a resolve and a resilience to be reckoned with. I know that it’s a silly, Ill-informed stance to blame the universe on my woes because that absolves my ex and I from any responsibility in our marital demise, sometimes it’s just easier though.

What I hope for going forwards is a more amicable relationship with him for the benefit of our kiddies, but alas it looks like history repeating itself. I am but me and cannot enforce a willingness from anyone other than myself. So whilst I hope, I must remain logical.

So, today, I choose to reflect on our joined experiences and strengths and love that I garnered from my Mother, it prepared me for much that life has thrown at me. Today I choose to reflect on the lives of my Nanny and Ann and the blessings of genes and nurture;- that I too may possess their courage. Today I choose to reflect on the greatness of women and their ability to carry on in the face of adversity. Today I remember #SarahEverard and the injustices faced by women across the globe. Today I choose to be thankful that my children’s Mother’s Day cards began with ‘To my best friend’ and ‘To the most important person in my life’ because I know now, like my Mother must have, that I’ve done the very that I could / can and that my children are wholesome and have survived the hurt, confusion and pain enforced upon them.

I can’t control everything that they will experience in life, no matter how hard I try and desperately want to, I am a Virgo after all, but I can continue to empower and build them up to be resilient and compassionate young people that have the capacity, like me to face whatever lies ahead.

💜

I do have one wish however, that the lesson has been taught – my Mother and I have paid the price to the powers to be, My Mother, Nanny and Aunt have suffered enough for generations and that my children’s experiences with love and relationships, and life in the North of Ireland as, strong, intelligent and knowledgeable Irish young people, won’t be as fraught with hurt and pain as those who have suffered greatly before us.

💜

Thank you Mama for all that you’ve done for and continue to do for me 🌹 Thank you to my heavenly female relatives for the strengths they endowed on me.

More

International Women’s Day 2021

A short statement 💁‍♀️

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A shout out to women around the globe facing injustice, inequality, misogyny, sexism and brutality:- straighten that crown, look within, find your courage, recognise your strength, seize your power, stand tall, group with your sisters and fight down the oppressive patriarchy; from your birth-right to your education, from your home life to your faith, from your employment to your retirement – throughout your society. The fight for equality continues ✊

“A feminist is anyone who recognises the equality and full humanity of men and women”.

Gloria Steinem

💜 💜 💜 💜 💜 💜 💜 💜 💜 💜 💜 💜 💜 💜 💜 💜 💜 💜 💜 💜 💜

Essential Oils; A Review:- 2

Sweet Orange (Citrus sinensis)

I love the smell of oranges, it reminds me of summer, of freshness, of sunshine, of newness, of beginnings. I love the taste of them too, so it’s hardly surprising that summer is my favourite season of the year, regardless that the summers in Ireland are mainly a wash out – I still always hope for sunshine. They remind of my favourite places around the world primarily Florida and Spain – I could write a whole blog about them both, they are my happy places. 🌞

The Statesman

Orange essential oil comes from the rind of sweet oranges. The extraction process involves using pressure to squeeze the oils from the rind and often the leaves and flowers of the orange plant – a method referred to as cold pressing. Orange essential oil is a fantastic versatile oil that can aid relaxation and promote mood enhancement as well as many other benefits which I will discuss here.


Cosmetic Benefits

Cosmetically, Orange essential oil can be used to treat and actually be a curative for acne and dermatitis. It is widely used in anti-aging and anti-wrinkle products in addition to body lotions, soaps and perfumery for its youth maintaining and fragrant attributes. Personally, I love the deep clean sensation of adding orange oil to my skincare products, The scent is soft and uplifting, lasting throughout the day. I use as many chemical free, natural products on my person and at home. Whilst essential oils can be relatively cheap, other natural products are more expensive and not as readily available to everyone. However, the beauty of Aromatherapy is that the oils can be used within the home, in our food and beverages and for cleaning and hygiene thus avoiding those extra harmful chemicals around your family.


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Physical Health

The physical health benefits of this essential oil are aplenty; a go to for many concerns with numerous evidence based qualities – anti-inflammatory and anti-depressant (Organic Facts) being front runners. Similarly, it’s used as an antispasmodic, antiseptic and antibacterial treatment and as a sleep aid, due to its natural sedative like properties.


Cramping (Spasmodic)

Anyone who experiences leg cramps, especially post-exercise, or those terrifying, breath-catching ones that throw you out of your sleep with a painful howl in the middle of the night, will know how agonising they can be! Having a prepared aromatherapy blend handy with orange essential oil included can be an absolute life saver – massaging with this oil will literally kill the cramp and diminish that sensation of the cramp still lurking around just waiting to attack as soon as you fall back into dreamland – you know that feeling where you are afraid to move just in case?!? Trust me, this works! 👍 In similar vein, it can help with any cramping; tummy cramps, muscle cramps, coughing attacks and much more.


Menstruation and Menopause

According to Organicfacts.Net, because Orange essential oil encourages secretions from the body’s glands including the exocrine and endocrine, it can regulate hormones and lactation, benefiting the individual during menstruation, postnatal and menopausal periods. Alongside its cramp reducing attributes joined with mood lifting and relaxing qualities, this oil really is the holistic remedy for women to turn to during hormonal times.


Infection Control

Adding orange essential oil to your First Aid routine for cleaning cuts and grazes, will ensure that the area remains sepsis and infection free because of it’s amazing antiseptic and antibacterial benefits. As a mother I felt more contented knowing that I could add this oil to my First Aid routine to prevent infection from the many cuts and grazes that I cleaned up for both my children following numerous falls.

In a time where there is increasing immunity to lifesaving antibiotics, when viruses can bring the world to it’s knees, causing unimaginable loss and grief, turning to nature for its many cures, just like our ancestors did, becomes more and more logical. I’m not advocating the forgoing of traditional, western medicine by any means; I’m in awe of Doctors and Nurses worldwide for their incredible, superhero courage, skill, stamina and persistence in the face of Covid19, what I am suggesting is that incorporating scientifically proven, natural remedies into our daily routines alongside traditional medicine can be hugely beneficial to our emotional wellbeing and physical resiliencies to factors outside of our control.


“Orange essential oil can be effective at stopping the growth of some types of bacteria and fungi”

Healthline

For example, did you know that orange essential oil is an antistaphylococcal; basically destroying or inhibiting staphylococci infections? This wonderous oil can help prevent that awful skin eating bacteria that will angrily and viciously destroy the healthiest of skin surrounding an already agonising wound (PubMed, nih.gov).


Mental and Emotional Wellbeing

Pre Covid, there were almost 3m people linked with mental health services in the U.K.. This indicates, as with many other illnesses, that the actual figure could be at least 1.5 times that amount due to the number of people who haven’t presented for diagnosis or treatment for a variety of reasons including perceived shame and judgement, fear, assumed gender behaviours and language barriers, to name but a few. A further factor contributing to the lack of true statistical reporting of poor mental health is that G.P. treatment for mental health support is not recorded as falling within the ‘contact with mental health services’ category. We have also yet to see the statistics for Mental Health 2020 – 2021, Covid19 year, which I expect have risen significantly.

“Between 01 April 2019 and 31 March 2020 there were 2,878,636 people in contact with mental health services. Of these 822,062 were aged 18 or under”.

Mental Health Services Monthly Statistics Final March 2020 – NHS Digital

Closer to home in the North of Ireland, statistics show that the rate of mental ill health was 25% higher than in England even before Corona virus and that at least 1 in 9 people suffer from poor mental health here. A multitude of factors contribute to this figure, though it’s recorded that it does primarily relate to the ‘Troubles’.

Its relevance to this blog is that the pandemic has had a devastating impact on local communities, families and individuals and with historically underfunded mental health services, the citizens of the North will likely feel the pain of Covid for generations. In lieu of adequate support services, it is essential that families and individuals are able to access other methods of support and Aromatherapy can play a part in individual healing alongside other available supports.

“Mental health is a key area to consider during this period of isolation and must be paramount to the recovery strategy when we emerge from coronavirus”

Karen Collins, Aware NI

Orange essential oil has been shown to alleviate feelings of anger, depression and anxiety (Progress in Neuro-Psychopharmacology & Biological Psychiatry journal) as well as being a quick and effective inflammatory and pain aid. Personally, living with fibromyalgia; a debilitating syndrome linked with nerve and bone pain, inflammation and associated depression and anxiety, #Covid19 year has been brutally taxing both physically and emotionally, requiring every ounce of my resilience and stamina to maintain positivity and hope – millions around the world feel the same. This oil is perfect for me to wind down each evening and get up each morning to face, endure and thrive through the isolation routine associated with continuous lockdowns.

Research continues to demonstrate the many benefits of Orange essential oil in treating depression and anxiety; from it’s uplifting properties promoting happy feelings to encouraging an increased positive outlook. Additionally, it can reduce a racing pulse and salivary cortisol production; the body’s response to anxiety. Win! Win! Further research is required in this area however.

*On that note, depression and anxiety are two very complex mental health illnesses which require formal diagnosis and individualised treatments – there is no one size fits all approach to managing the symptoms of either. It’s essential for patients to engage with and work alongside their G.P.’s when addressing areas of mental health. I do not advocate stopping prescribed medication in favour of using essential oils, but I do recommend using them in conjunction with prescribed medication to boost and improve feelings of wellness.


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Other Benefits

The benefits of Vitamin C are numerous; from our skin to our bones, our blood cells to our digestive systems and even our moods. We derive vitamin c from a variety of foods including oranges, so it’s logical to make a correlation between some benefits of vitamin c and orange essential oil given the variety of methods that it can be incorporated into our bodies; from adding to food and beverages, topical application and inhalation via candles, reed diffusers, atomisers and room sprays.


Usage

Orange oil blends beautifully with a loads of essential oils including other citrus oils, ginger, frankincense, sandalwood and vetiver but really it is down to individual choice, dependent on the aroma that the individual prefers and what they hope to gain from it.

For morning routines I blend orange with other citrus oils to promote a positive atmosphere and help me function. I particularly love the blend of sweet orange, grapefruit and ylang ylang as it helps focus and motivate me (alongside a frothy caramel latte 😁). At bedtime I find a blend of elemi, frankincense, lavender and orange especially relaxing and when anxiety threatens to engulf me, blending orange with cypress, geranium and bergamot helps ground me and enables me to breathe deeper. I use these in my atomiser and via a roller ball bottle which I use topically on my pulse points, behind my ears and across my heart area.


To recap…

Orange essential oil can be used in a variety of ways, independently or mixed into a blend with other essential oils.

  • Topically, mixed with a carrier oil and massaged onto areas of the body where you are experiencing cramping.
  • Add to your facial wash, cleanser, moisturiser and body lotions for deeply cleansed, refreshed and bright soft skin – you’ll love the scent also; 1-2 drops maximum.
  • Mix with distilled water and add to home and car atomisers to induce energy and feelings of positivity.
  • Add to reed diffusers for a continuous uplifting scent around the home
  • Mix 2-3 drops with your favourite blend into a carrier oil add to a roller ball both and apply topically on your pulse points, behind ears and around your heart area to help ground, focus and motivate.
  • Blend with your favourite wax and make luxuriously scented candles to use whenever you like.


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Here’s some of my favourite blends that you can try for yourself…

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Sisu” – indicating a strength that females have to keep going in the face of adversity – from the ‘Femme Range’ at Sweet Ellie Aromas 🌱

  • 3 drops of Ginger to help with digestive issues associated with menstrual cramping and ‘off’ tummy
  • 4 drops of Jasmine to support self confidence and improve hormonal mood
  • 5 drops of Clary Sage to help with menstruation cramps and improve hormonal mood swings
  • 3 drops of Orange to help regulate hormones and encourage a more positive mindset
  • Blend with 50mls of coconut carrier oil and massage onto abdomen throughout until the symptoms recede
  • And…(without the carrier oil)
  • Mixed with 100mls of distilled water in a spray bottle, spraying regularly throughout the home

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HeartsEase” – Denoting ‘Peace of Mind’ from the Uplift Range, at ‘Sweet Ellie Aromas’🌱

  • 3 drops of Cypress oil to relieve anxiety
  • 2 drops of Rosemary oil to improve mood and reduce feelings of stress and depression
  • 3 drops of Orange oil to uplift and motivate
  • 2 drops of Basil oil as a pain reliever and mood enhancer
  • 100mls of distilled water
  • Add to atomiser throughout the day to uplift and promote a focussed and productive mindset
  • And…
  • Add to 100ml bottle of fragrance free moisturiser / body lotion and moisturise into skin for smooth, healthy skin and to enhance mood, reduce pain and smell delightful all day and night

Contraindications – Caution

Orange Essential oil is phototoxic meaning that it can cause sensitivity to the sun. Therefore, it’s advisable that you keep the area treated with the oil out of the sun for a few days after.

Whilst it can be added to food and beverages for flavouring, it’s best to avoid adding in large doses as it can result in vomiting, nausea and potentially loss of appetite.

As with all essential oils, it’s important to store them correctly and out of the way from children. Best stored in a higher cupboard, away from direct sunlight.


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Further reading:

Essential Oils; A Review:- 1

Lavender (Lavandula Angustifolia)

There are over 400 species of Lavender worldwide meaning that Lavender oil has a wide variety of scents and qualities. It is acquired from the steam distillation from the flower spikes of certain species of lavender.

French Lavender

Historically prized with its association to matters of the heart; both chastity and as an aphrodisiac – the debate runs on, regardless, Lavender Oil is renown for its calming, lightly floral scent to soothe both the mind and body. It has a deep, richly herbaceous tone, with a mellow, fruity top note; loved by many – not by all. It is known as one of the safest and most versatile of natural remedies – which is why it is number 1 in my list of essential oils to review. Derived from the Latin, Lavare, ‘to wash’, you’ll regularly find lavender soaps, powders, bath oils, perfumes and household products in stores around the globe and in prices ranging from a few £’s to a few £100’s.


Going back, way, way back, Lavender (Lavandula angustifola) is one of the most popular and widely used scents documented in ancient texts for its medicinal and religious uses, originating with mummification in Egypt to warding off plagues and diseases in ancient Greece and Rome, to its inclusion in bathing, food and fragrance.


We only need to reflect on our own experiences of living in a global pandemic to imagine the impact of the great plagues in history; Athens for talk sake or the Black Plague to name but a few, to envisage the scale and mortality rates of the contagion, particularly without 21st Century progressive medicine. Hippocrates is accredited back then with using essential oils; harnessing the powers of local fauna and flora, to save his people from disease, without realising quite how they worked.


The plague of Athens

“Humans are always blaming the gods for their suffering / but they experience pain beyond their fate because of their own recklessness.” Zeus, Homer’s “Odyssey”.


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Lavender essential oil can be used in a multitude of ways to relieve many ailments, physically and emotionally due to it’s calming and soothing effects and aroma. This ranges from boosting your emotional wellbeing, enhancing your hygiene and beauty regime, easing and healing a topical skin ailments to physically reducing tension and stress via massage as well as aiding a great night’s sleep.



Lavender blends well with most citrus oils, especially Bergamot and Lime, Neroli and Eucalyptus and Herbaceous oils like Marjoram and Basil. In perfumery terms, the rule of thumb is that your blend should consist of 45-55% base note essential oils, 35-45% middle or heart note essential oils and 15 -25% top note essential oils. Lavender is considered as a base – mid note oil, meaning that it is a longer lasting aroma, which persists throughout the candle, diffuser or room mist for example.


In fact, as an all rounder, it blends well with the majority of essential oils, from the three main aromatherapy categories; soothing / relaxing, uplifting and grounding / balancing.

Lavender can be used independently or mixed with other essential oils as a blend via a variety of methods:

  • Topically, mixed with a carrier oil, apply directly to stings and burns or use as a soothing blend for a massage
  • Add to emollients, moisturisers, shampoo, conditioners and deodorants to enhance your hygiene and beauty range
  • Add to electronic vaporisers to add the soothing aroma into the air
  • Add to reed diffusers for a continuous release of Lavender into your home
  • Add to pulse points, feet, behind ears, via a roller ball, mixed with a carrier oil to alleviated stress, anxiety and tension
  • Add to a room spray, mixed with a small amount of perfumers alcohol and distilled water and spritz when required
  • Add to a blend when making candles and burn when required
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Some of my favourite Lavender Blends for you to try out…

Best Ever Sleep:

  • 5 drops Lavender essential oil to release stress and tension
  • 4 drops Sweet Marjoram essential oil to aid a calm and healthy respiration
  • 2 drops of Cedarwood Essential Oil to relieve stress and worry
  • 2 drops Eucalyptus Essential Oil to cleanse the air
  • 1 drop Frankincense to ground the mind and body
  • Add to 100mls of distilled water in a water spritz bottle and spray over your bed and bedroom

Relaxation Blend:

  • 4 drops Lavender Essential Oil to reduce feelings of stress and anxiety
  • 4 drops Sweet Orange Essential Oil to promote wellness and relaxation
  • 2 drops Frankincense Essential Oil to improve mood and decrease stress
  • Add to vaporiser mixed with distilled water

Why don’t you try and mix up some blends of your own – share your experiences with me here? The beauty of Aromatherapy is that you can mix the majority of oils to your liking ignoring the perfumery rule of thumb – if you like it, then it will work with you

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Cartooning Fibro; trying to maintain my sanity with humour

So, I’ve had this flare going on since Christmas. Twice I was elated that it had passed, tricked into thinking all was well once more and I began in earnest to ticking off all the outstanding chores that built up whilst I was out of action. Only a day went by before the pain erupted and I was swamped with fatigue. Roll forward another few weeks and the same thing happened all over again.

I will confess that being a mother I am tormented by guilt; guilt that my kiddos have to observe their mother this way; guilt that my laundry has built up to monstrous proportions and that ‘take out’ will have to replace home cooking.

I’m also very aware that the longer this goes on, the harder it will be to face the world positively but that I absolutely need to or I could remain depressed which is brutal all round and/or I’ll trigger the pain cycle once more.

So this blog post will use funny to draw attention to the nuances of Fibro; one in an attempt to make myself feel a bit more upbeat, a little bit of catharsis’s and two it’s def much easier for others to want to read about and ‘get’ the experiences of others. Here we go…


And I extremely proud of myself 💪🏼

Read on and you’ll understand why
“They need to find a cure, that’s for sure…“ Who doesn’t love a bit of Seus?
Nasty

The number of Doctor’s appointments I require is unfathomable
It’s persistent, can feel never ending, can be never ending. There are a number of life changes that we can make to offset the frequency of the vicious dog attacks though
True story
I used to love a good party 🎊
I do like to rebel now and again and get out with my friends but I have to factor in that the few weeks after will be hell

My experience is that it is 99% hidden apart from Oedema – tni? 😂
Usually caused by the crazy meds sufferers are prescribed – always check the side effects and join a forum, there’s always someone who’s tried what you’ve been prescribed. Be aware!
Pre diagnosis I thought I was going insane. I was luckier than many others because my diagnosis didn’t take the average 7yrs others had to wait. I do not feel lucky having fibro though.
Have you ever had painful hair? It sounds impossible but it happens and it’s bloody aching. Gentle massage does the trick
As a Mother, I’m always aware of this and it breaks my heart.
Human touch is one of the most beautiful things in the universe – but it can be agony for fibro guys I miss it dearly.
This captures it entirely. Please sir can I have a new body? Pretty please…?
For instance, I’ve a gnawing, throbbing, piercing pain in my elbow for over a week – there’s not a mark on it. But it bloody aching
You know that feeling when your
clothes hurt you…?
Vulgar but true
This is a very accurate depiction
I do laugh at this one because it’s something that’s been said to me a number of times 😂 I’d rather know I was alive by being able to fully live.

Movement problems: If only a good oiling would fix it.
One trick to help manage fibro is movement – the problem is that moving can very painful.

Fatigue
There was a time that I loved jumping out of my bed to go to work, to meet with family and friends, to go out for dinner and drinks.
A lotta lotta days…
I really do get sick of myself
Legit story
Fatigue is tired multiplied by 10,000
If someone asked me what my worst experience of having fibromyalgia is, I would tell them this, chronic fatigue. Fatigue so bad that walking 2 feet pushes me to tears, I could sleep for 3 days straight and wake as exhausted as I was falling asleep. I could go on, for a very long time.
And the possibly the next week too
So, 4 years on, whilst I’ve had the most interesting and painful journey of self discovery, I still make the same mistake over and over; as soon as a flare passes I jump and try to experience all the things that I missed out on, overexert myself and boom
back to square 1.
This is the well researched method for minimising the debilitating fatigue – building up your spoons aka energy units.
Where can I buy more spoons?

I’m an intelligent woman, a professional woman and I’ve so much to give the world but I’ve been given an extra challenge in life, one that shouldn’t have appeared until my 80’s; memory loss. I feel the loss of that and my speech greatly. Now what was that word I was thinking of…
What did I do with my list? 🤔
Now this made me laugh 😂😂😂 because I once went out with two odd boots
Autopilot and muscle memory can be so useful
I love ice cream 🍦
It can be so very frustrating and can lead to complete isolation from family and friends. Be mindful and care, check in with those you love

Check me out 💪🏼

Final note to my readers. By no means have I intended to underplay the experience of other fibromyalgia sufferers, this post aimed to capture the pain and suffering caused by fibromyalgia in a manner that enables me to process the affliction when I’m not feeling so good.

Money makes the world go round…

Is there anything out there still free?

So, this is my first blog. The initial one. The breaker-in and I’m about to stray off my planner to write about the events leading up to this blog and how, I as a professional woman, fell for the most common trick in the book by believing that a complete stranger wanted to help my business, for no other reason than being nice – something I’ve taught my two not to believe since they were old enough to hold electronics.

As a Virgo and a Mother of two, my mind never stops. 24/7. Even when I sleep I wake up thinking ‘what the hell’ ‘cos my dreams are as vivid and clear as though I’m living through them. Some are so realistic that it takes me hours to shake them off! Anyone else?

Anyways, a particular flaw of mine is that I’d analyse two flies walking up a wall… frustrating as hell to me because I lie in bed every night and I’ll analyse the minute details of the day, even those spent wandering around the house aimlessly searching for something that that I hadn’t cleaned, fixed or organised since lockdown number 1.

It’s particularly difficult for those around me because I tend to challenge their funny looks, their stillness, their breathing… I know, I don’t sound too well, but don’t fret, I’m perfectly fine, it’s just the fixer in me, it’s just who I am, Më, Jüst Më.

So, I’ve thought about setting up my own small business for about 8 years now and believe me I’ve thought the ins and outs of it to death! The time finally arrived when I decided to take the leap; I’ve a chronic illness ya see, which can incapacitate me from the world for sometimes over a week, so leap it was. Anyways, once I made my mind up I began in earnest to research the ins and outs of becoming a small business owner, filling pukka project pads by the 5’s with all the relevant information.

One section that I spent a fair bit of time on was branding, marketing and PR; and lucky me, didn’t I find an online link in Pinterest that directed me to a successful entrepreneur’s story, with, now wait for it, the option to sign up to a free email newsletter which would basically be my A-Z of business start up. I. Was. Delighted.

Interestingly enough, this ultra successful lady, 😌 advised that the success of my business would treble if I had a coinciding blog (and here I am…) advertising my products on a variety of different social platforms – sounds legit enough right? All I had to do was sign up for ‘instant’ emails and she’d guide me all the way.

Bumbling with excitement and multiplying the £ signs in my mind, I knew that with the Lady’s guidance, my wee business would shine. So I created a list – I love lists, there’s something very fulfilling about adding a different coloured tick beside a completed task – and with a variety of objectives to fulfil, I started the ball rolling in a methodical manner, filling my page eagerly with ticks.

Now I’m the type of person who subscribes to every website because I’m sure I’m going to get an offer or a deal on something that I don’t need, a Covid complication that I might need therapy for, and I promise myself that I’ll unsubscribe if the emails aren’t useful. This rarely happens because I never have the motivation to go the hundreds of glitzy, flashing emails I get daily.

But, never say never, because one boring Sunday afternoon I decided to do just that and wiped the entirety of my main email account. Well the feeling of success I got was enough to spur me onto clearing my other accounts. Within a day though I noticed that my emails were accumulating at a staggering rate, from accounts I’d never heard of, all offering me font packages, digital layouts Social Media templates and so on for my blog. Being a beginner blogger, my initial thought was, frick, this wasn’t something id factored in, not to mention that my bank balance was in its last throes of death – but, in chirps my inner thoughts… this must be the going standard for blogs these days and sure won’t the $186 be an investment into the business that was going to boom? Thankfully, the other 99 emails alerted me to the similarity of their content and costs, all with the overriding American theme.

I learned through the many feedback forms requesting a reason as to why I ignored their offers 🙄 that ‘ultra successful lady’ was at the centre of all these unwarranted communications; when I signed up to her, I signed up them. No wonder she was minted!

Thankfully, the maturity and wit that comes with my age and experience (or should), kicked in and after painstakingly deleting all and unsubscribing from the majority of the emails, it duly dawned on me that the A-Z of business setup was phantom also and I’d need to put the leg work in like every other hopeful entrepreneur.

A few solid lessons learned, costing me time and a dented ego, but thankfully no money. I learned that age/maturity doesn’t matter when you want something bad enough and there’s an attractive offer online and that I’d overestimated my level of experience of ‘online’, falling flat on my COVID tired face.

Seriously though, internet security isn’t to be laughed at. I got off lightly after being new blood and starry eyed in a field yet unknown to me, it could’ve been much worse.

M.